


Flying Home

by VerityXxX



Series: White Boots [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, description, friendlyflightattendant, planes, too much thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 22:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14657637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerityXxX/pseuds/VerityXxX
Summary: Zhenya's flying to Canada to start training at TCC but she can't stop thinking about her previous life at Sambo70.





	Flying Home

Evgenia leant back in her seat and turned the music up until it was blaring into her ears so loud that she could not hear herself think. If she did that then she knew that she wouldn’t be able to control whatever she thought about. Besides she was in public and had appearances to maintain regardless of the toll that it would take on her. 

At the Olympics she’d been forced to put up a mask of sorts and maintain her reputation. Some people called her cold or fake but for her it was just protection. It allowed her to compete without falling because when she was on the ice she didn’t even consider the possibility of her not landing her jumps. It was that mask which was why she could juggle her fiercely competitive persona whilst also being the light-hearted girl that the media and other skaters loved. For whilst she was both of them in a way no one except her mother (and Eteri once) really seemed to get that. The only time that mask had slipped was whilst she was skating her free skate and once everything had come out there was no one who wanted to be around her. She was out of control and she wasn’t to be out of control. 

Eteri and Averbukh would set her choreography on the ice and she’d dance to their tune even before her music started playing. Maybe that was why it had hurt so much when Eteri had let her lose because for some reason everything that she was doing wasn’t enough anymore. Eteri had made that choice to back Alina to give her the only routine that was capable of beating Zhenya’s even when she was skating that damned leftover’s program that ruined everything.

It might be stupid or even childish to blame Eteri for her loosing but why did she have to rais”Re up Alina and all the others to replace her. Zhenya had completely committed everything she had to Eteri sacrificing a life she might have had. She even called that woman a second mother but Eteri couldn’t do the same. Eteri didn’t have that faith in Zhenya and she had to protect here legacy because she didn’t trust that Zhenya would be good enough. Because Eteri always wanted more; to be the best coach, to not just have one top skater but hundreds of them and to never stop winning. Eteri had always been more than enough for Zhenya yet somehow Zhenya would never be and could never do enough for Eteri too satisfy her.

“Refreshments,” a voice said from beside Zhenya accompanied with a practised head tilt and teeth baring smile. 

“No thanks,” Zhenya said adopting her own smile back at the flight attendant. She was flying without her mother who was still packing up their lives in Moscow in favour of Canada but she needed to get a jumpstart on her choreography and technical upgrades for next season. 

“You flying alone for the first time” The attendant said cooing at Zhenya.

Her hands balled up against the armrests nails biting into her palms. She didn’t know who this woman was and she didn’t know what the attendant wanted to do with her. “Yes. I fly a lot but it is my first time alone.” She said in slightly stilted English conscious of her thick Russian accent.

“That’s nice poppet. You’re Russian too. I love it when we have layovers in Russia the scenery is so beautiful,” the woman said in a slightly condescending yet maternal tone. “You know you look like that skater girl from the Olympics.” Zhenya frowned even on the plane she couldn’t help but be recognised. “The one who won gold at the last winter Olympic games—Ada or something.”

“Adeline Sotnikova—she won the 2014 games for Russia.” Zhenya explained laughing slightly part of her was relieved but another part of her was just upset. Adelina for all everyone said they looked alike got to win an Olympic gold medal but Zhenya just had two silvers. She forced a smile on her face, “I get that a lot back home.”

“You into figure skating love” the woman said rifling through her trolley as she brewed tea for the person on Zhenya’s left. “Isn’t there that coach Terry whose students won gold and silver. My sister was complaining cause her daughter wanted to get one of those dolls with red tutu like the girl who won.”

“Yeah, she was just fifteen, “ Zhenya said. “Russian media is in love with her.” It was true. It didn’t matter everything that had happened over the last two years and Zhenya earning Alina and Maria’s spots singlehandedly at Worlds in 2017. They hadn’t hesitated to replace Alina with Zhenya in the media just for wining one competition. Zhenya had had to work hard for everything that she had ever gotten in Russia—no one had even known who she was until she had won two world championships medal and was the apparent gold medal favourite for the Olympics.

“That’s nice. Do you want a refreshment,” the blonde woman asked.

Zhenya looked at the selection and her eyes settled on a chocolate bar. They were her favourite and whenever she could get hold of chocolate she would buy one. “I don’t have any money on me,” Zhenya shrugged before leaning back into her chair hoping that the attendant would leave her alone.

“Don’t worry about that dear,” the attendant said before dropping a chocolate bar onto Zhenya’s lap and bustling forwards to the row ahead.

The woman having gone Zhenya looked at the bar on her lap in its innocuous purple wrapping. Eteri had always gotten angry at Zhenya for her addiction to chocolate but Zhenya wasn’t at Sambo70 anymore so she used her nails to rip open the packaging and broke off a square which she put in her mouth. 

It was better than Zhenya remembered and before she knew it the chocolate bar was all gone. She crumpled the wrapper in one hand only now starting to feel guilty for not paying it but she didn’t have any Canadian money yet just roubles. She’d regretted that the last two times that the attendants had come round and as much as she had resented the attendant for her show of pity Zhenya couldn’t deny that she needed to eat. 

But going against her principals was something that Zhenya was used to. Every bit of her had wanted to snap back at Eteri and drag her name through the mud when she heard that interview. Instead Zhenya had been told to smile by her PR team and hide her hurt the same way that a poisonous plant hid its true colours behind their brightly coloured petals. She had been forced to learn with same rigour as she learnt new jumps what she wasn’t allowed to do and which of her principals would need to be bent. 

There was a reason she’d deleted all the pictures of Yuzu from her profile on instagram. Eteri had been the one who’d recommended she post them obsessed with her idea of generating publicity behind Zhenya and her school in turn. Its not that Zhenya didn’t like Yuzu indeed sometimes she felt as though she liked him too much. Eteri had just bred into her an awareness for what was visible to the public and as Zhenya didn’t put much in stock with her instagram feed and she knew Yuzu didn’t either she’d always acquiesced. Put pictures up there of whatever Eteri wanted fan artwork, pictures with important figure, skating training you name it. 

It was because of Yuzu however that Zhenya finally put her foot down and tried to reclaim it. He’d told her that it didn’t seem to be genuine anymore and Zhenya agreed so she wrested control back from Eteri with the posting but she’d been to afraid to delete anything. When she’d finally arranged everything though so that she’d definitely be leaving she deleted all the pictures of him. There were more than she remembered and deleting them was therapeutic until she couldn’t see the screen anymore because of her tears. Initially she’d wanted to delete the entire thing but she couldn’t. Her leaving still hadn’t been fully arranged yet and Zhenya was supposed to be keeping it on the down low. 

Deleting all those photos had done the opposite though causing more drama with her fans bless them analysing everything that she had said or posted in the last 6 months. Yuzu even had texted her about it which was impressive because normally she never heard from him during the off-season unless they had tours together. She hadn’t responded and even though she knew that he knew she had received his texts she just didn’t care. He’d work it out and if she didn’t well hell she’s coming to his skating club and Orser would have told him that anyway. 

His last text was the only one she had felt guilty about. It was short, poignant and altogether far too accurate. Zhenya had deleted it after hours of deliberation but she couldn’t respond know after ignoring his last twelve. Afterwards she blocked his number from her phone; she didn’t want to see any of his messages anymore even if she was curious about what he was going to say next.

Zhenya was about to push her headphones in to drown out her circuitous thoughts when she heard the ping that announced they were about to land. Tightening her seatbelt Zhenya sat stock-still. She hated landings—whilst she wasn’t a nervous flier and was comfortable with take offs and sitting in planes for hours with limited legroom. 

Yet maybe it was that landings reminded her of those last desperate moments on the ice before the music stops and you’re spinning and you need to keep on spinning even when your legs are tired and you haven’t got anything left to give. But the music hasn’t stopped so you smile and move your hands and keep on skating. Then just like the bump that is a landing the music will stop jolting you out of whatever world you were in and back into the harsh cold reality of whether your score will add up to grant you the victory and the little numbers that the judges put down on the scoring cards without having watched the skating.

By the time the plane bumped on the real, sending a little kid two rows in front of Zhenya and to the right flying in the air, she was calmer than she had ever been. There was no one to pretend to on this flight, no one she had to pretend that she was calm to reassure them. For once she was able to put herself first and Zhenya liked it. She liked not having to pretend that she was happy around the juniors and Zagitova saying her foot didn’t hurt and they had nothing to worry about. Because she knew like dear Polina they only had nothing to worry about if they kept on winning for Eteri.

She kept that attitude up as the seatbelt sign pinged and grabbing her rucksack which was all she’d brought with her she fought her way to the exit pushing her way past the other travellers. Catching sight of her blonde attendant Zhenya smiled quickly before reaching the front of the queue. 

The first to step through the exit Zhenya had an unrestricted view of her new home if everything worked out for the next 4 years. It was bright with pale blue skies with no visible sun and the airport was built to look almost avant-garde. But in truth when she looked around and imagined it all in winter when the snow would fall covering Canada she couldn’t help but feel that if it could be compared to anything. Zhenya wouldn’t be lying if she said it looked like home.

**Author's Note:**

> This is all made up and probably just me projecting my insecurities onto what's going on with Zhenya but this is my interpretation of what is happening at the moment in relation to her leaving Eteri and what she might be feeing and thinking as a result.


End file.
